Choice Words

by Kelly Dixon

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1

I had a time in my life when I knew someone was quite angry with me and I didn’t know exactly how to handle it. So I spent all my quiet time with the Lord that day searching for His will of what I should do. Should I ignore the situation and let the person cool down or should I address it by calling them and discussing it? During our quiet time together the Lord led me to 1 Peter 3:4 which talks about how the beauty of a woman is not from outside adornment but rather from having a gentle and quiet spirit. So I immediately went with the fact that the Lord must be telling me that He wanted me to respond by being quiet. After all, that seemed to work out well with my feelings of not wanting to have a confrontation. Later, I was speaking to a dear friend that knew of the situation and I shared with her the verse the Lord had laid on my heart. Kindly she said, “what if He wants you to address it, but do so in a gentle nature.” Immediately, I knew the Lord was speaking to me through her and I had to make the phone call.

I dreaded making that phone call and I prayed some more about it. Maybe the Lord would change His mind! Finally, I realized the reason why I was dreading making the phone call. It wasn’t because I wanted to avoid confrontation. It was because I didn’t know if I could fulfill what the Lord had called me to do – to be gentle. Gentleness is not a part of my nature! I started to realize that the Lord wanted me to allow Him to strengthen me with His gentleness. The gentleness that Jesus displays and the gentleness that will eventually make lions lay down peaceably with lambs. So I said a breath prayer and picked up the phone to make the call. Now, I would like to say that the gentle response to what I encountered during that phone call brought a wealth of peace and harmony, but that would not be the truth.  In reality, the gentleness allowed for the person to vent their feelings towards me and the pot of anger was not stirred up any further. However, I felt I learned from the Lord a valuable lesson about how to respond with gentleness and attack the problem not the person.

Many of us who don’t have a gentle nature about us respond to confrontations with our full artillery that usually includes anger, smart remarks and definitely a piece of our mind is going to be given. However, we will never get our point across by being cross, so we should choose our words wisely. A soft answer is always better than a sarcastic one. When we are faced with conflict, how we say something is as important as what we say. If it is said offensively, it will be received defensively. God tells us, "The wise are known for their understanding, and pleasant words are persuasive." (Proverbs 16:21 NLT).

Is your personality by nature not a gentle one? For those of us who have a strong personality, it is hard at times to submit to the Lord and allow His gentleness to shine through. However, the Scriptures tell us that this is the wise thing to do. We not only need to do it for ourselves but for the unity of God’s church and the spreading of His Word to this world. During my life, my response to those who come at me in attack has been very undesirable to the Lord. However, I know that as I grow more in Him He is making me more like Jesus with the Spirit of gentleness. Allow Him to do the same in your life today.

Prayer: Father, my pride is hit hard when I am attacked by others. I want to lash out at them or maybe even respond with conniving ways, smart remarks or a mannerism that is destructive to them. However, I know this is a response of the world and not of You. You have called Your children to be in unity. Guide me in participating in being a part of that unity. Show me when I am not yielding to Your gentle Spirit. Mold my personality into being more like Christ’s.  It is in His Name I make these requests. Amen.