Reading: Matthew 5:38-48
How do you react when you find out that someone has spitefully used you or persecuted you? What if the person is someone you felt was a close friend or loved one? When we are hurt by ones around us, especially ones close to us, we start to develop feelings of unforgiveness and before we know it we have allowed hatred to develop in our hearts. It is easy for us to quickly mark off the love we may have felt for someone and begin to hate them. However, Jesus distinctly tells us in Matthew 5:43-44 that this is not the way we should react. “You have heard that it is said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.'
Matthew 5:43-44
I’ve had occasions in my life when I have been hurt in a spiteful way by loved ones. One of the most hurtful was when they slandered my character. As a result, I would hold back from them not necessarily showing an outward physical appearance of hurt or injustice but inwardly simmering. However, I have had incidences within the last few years of my life where the Lord has taught me valuable lessons about how to react to such spitefulness.
It’s easy for us to become bitter and turn our feelings of love for someone into hate. However, the ultimate answer to how we combat such a change in feelings is in the last part of verse 44, “ . . . pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” Have you ever tried to pray for someone you haven’t forgiven or you hold anger against? It’s like swallowing a cactus. The thought of it is revolting. Really, I know – I have even said these prayers through gritted teeth. However, the results depend upon your placing God’s will above your own rather than your will above His. When you realize that you have been the victim of actions of spite and persecution, the last thing you want to do is pray for the one who offended you. Your will would be that they are spitefully used and persecuted just like they treated you. At least that way, they would know how you feel and there would be some revenge! But God’s will is that your heart be mended as He works on theirs and Jesus tells us that our heart begins its mending by praying for our enemy.
Hatred is not of God. God is love and He wants us to display His love even through the hurt that we may feel from someone who wronged us. The best way for us to begin to display that love is by praying for the person who hurt us. Pray for God’s will to come forth in their lives and yours. When a heart of sincere desire for God’s will prays such simple words, amazing things happen. Your heart begins to see the one who offended you through Jesus’ eyes and before you know it you will begin to display God’s sacrificial, forgiving love in your life.
This task is one of the hardest ones that we are asked to do by our Savior. Therefore, I feel led to include the following steps in prayer that I have come across in research on this topic. I have collected these three common strings in many articles I read and hope they will be helpful when you find yourself in such a situation.
- The first step is to ask forgiveness from God for your own attitude.
- The second step is to choose to forgive this person out of obedience and to ask God to help you deal with the emotions that you have towards them.
- The third step (the hardest) is to pray for this person. Pray that God’s will comes forth in their lives and in your own.
These will be the rawest of prayer times but they will bring forth beautiful intimacy with the Father. Such intimacy that bursts forth with overflowing love as you lay yourself willingly in His arms and He performs open heart surgery. Given time suddenly you’ll see a difference in yourself, you’ll see the fruit of your labor and draw closer to the Father in the process.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I have been hurt and I don’t want to forgive. Guide me in obtaining the forgiving love that Your heart holds. Show me how my words and actions are bringing forth hatred in my life instead of Your love. I lay myself at Your feet ready and willing to get rid of these feelings and show Your love. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I have been hurt and I don’t want to forgive. Guide me in obtaining the forgiving love that Your heart holds. Show me how my words and actions are bringing forth hatred in my life instead of Your love. I lay myself at Your feet ready and willing to get rid of these feelings and show Your love. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
